where do we start?

Isaac’s string of luck ran out last week……. he got sick again. We thought it was an easy to fix sick and started him on IV antibiotics Friday night. Within a few minutes of those antibiotics ending he started shivering – scary, violent shivering. He was hard to rouse, and it reminded me of the night he became septic in Minnesota all those years ago.
We got him to the hospital and they at first diagnosed a febrile seizure. They cultured everything and put in an IV, it took 4 attempts, 4 heartbreaking attempts. Isaac cried and thrashed and begged us to stop. Everything about it sucked.
On Saturday they pulled his PICC line out and decided to get more blood on Sunday – more crying and begging. On Monday his IV blew, a new one had to go in. As I held him down in the treatment room, and he begged for “no more” I wondered how much of this any one person can take? At what point does Isaac turn on us? When does he stop coming to us to help him when the things we do just seem to hurt? What’s making this harder is not knowing, we’re still not sure what we’re treating.
The PICC line they pulled out grew yeast, and that can be treated with an oral drug or IV – they are using the IV right now just because he has it. His blood cultures (4 of them now!) are confusing – one is growing something, others are not. We are waiting on the latest to see what it grows. At this point Isaac is happy, not feverish and active. And we are keeping him contained in a hospital room, he asks several times a day to “go home”. He tells me everyone he misses by name, and it sucks.
Right now I’m scared that his blood will grow something, and kind of scared it won’t. If it doesn’t he could have gone home on Monday – we would have put in an extra IV and done two extra blood draws for nothing. If it grows we need to somehow get a line in him that he can come home with for more IV drugs.
I think it’s just turning into one of those days…. one of those “why Isaac?” days. We’re hoping to know more tomorrow and really hoping to have him home by Thursday. When we get him home we will find a reason to enjoy every moment here for a while…..

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One thought on “where do we start?

  1. Kim, we are so sorry your baby has to go through all of this. I know it is also very hard on you and your family. We will be praying that they will find the problem and get him some medication that will help. You are a very stron gal and a wonderful mother and you do have a special little Superman.

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