Today is Mother’s Day, a very special day to many. As Isaac and Elijah’s mommy it is a day to count my blessings. Isaac made me a mama, and for that I am always grateful. My first year with Isaac taught me a lot – most specifically to remember how lucky I am.
Isaac slept through our first Mother’s Day, he was in the middle of his first drug induced sleep – while his esophagus stretched. He literally slept all day every day, for a total of 7 weeks. On our first Mother’s Day we were about 3 weeks into this. I couldn’t hold him, he couldn’t smile at me, he couldn’t even cry.
We were at a point where we were reconciling our wishes and dreams with our reality. Isaac wasn’t a typical baby at that point, and it was hard to imagine him ever being typical. It was hard to imagine our lives ever being typical.
During this time of reconciling we started to see the world around us (the PICU world!), we realized that we were really blessed. We had found the best team for our baby, and our baby was doing ok, in the PICU not all of the babies do ok.
We’ve had lots of normal Mother’s Days since that first one, but every year I spend a little time remembering where we were, where Isaac was. I also remember the mama’s who have a baby in heaven, and I silently thank them for reminding me to be grateful, even on our hardest days.
Today was spent with lots of kisses and hugs……. and lots of “I love you”, just the way a real Mother’s Day should be.